Archive | December, 2013

2 Years a Mom

4 Dec

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I’m sorry I called you a little devil this morning on Facebook. It’s just that it was early and I’d been up half the night “sleeping” with you because, from what I could tell by your unintelligible whining, you were thirsty. Oh, the woes of a two year old. Also, when I wrote that post this morning, I hadn’t had any coffee yet and I was feeling vulnerable and stripped down. The truth is, being your mom these days requires copious amounts of caffeine and until said caffeine is clocked in (and occasionally working overtime) I cannot be held responsible for the names I call you. Let’s just say “little devil” isn’t the worst that you’ve been called in my un-caffeinated state. But I digress. What I meant to say was HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I can’t believe you’re TWO (as you love to remind me, both with your ceaseless chattering and that whole “terrible” thing that accompanies the infamous twos). Despite those terrible moments, which are pretty much constant few and far between, you are a ticklish, giggly, race-car driving, puppy-wrangling kid who loves his daddy, candy, Lightning McQueen and roaring at strangers. How one little person can bring me so much frustration and even more abundant joy, I just can’t comprehend. I can put you in time out and twelve seconds later be lunging at you to assault you with kisses and raspberries. It’s positively bipolar, this motherhood thing. And being your mom is ALWAYS my ultimate joy.

I can’t believe how much you’ve changed in the last year. I didn’t really notice until I looked at this year in review while I made you a birthday video last night. And even after spending some 8 hours on this silly video (because I’m not even as smart as the average golden retriever, which means everything takes me much too long), I still sat back and sobbed while watching it. You are my sweet pea – the apple of my eye. And baby, you’re my best little friend. I wish I could ask you to stop growing up, but it’s just too daggum fun growing up with you to stop it.

Speaking of which, you’re not the only one growing up. I look back at the mom I was two years ago and I think “Who let me have a baby!?” She was immature, clueless, lacking in confidence, uptight and spent far too much time calculating what was best for you according to the books instead of just getting to know the real you and going with the flow. Spoiler alert: since then, I haven’t gotten that much better as a mom, but I HAVE evolved because of having you in my life. There aren’t just parts of me that are defined by being your mom, because since you came into my life, my whole being has been transformed. I am 100% you and Knox’s mommy, and everything I do, I do it as your mommy – even when we aren’t together, you never leave me. That’s a pretty powerful hold you have on me, little man. Of course, I feel comfortable writing that down, because you won’t actually read it for many, many years. Until then, you will never hear me say that you have such a strong hold on me because WE SHANT FORGET WHO IS THE BOSS AROUND HERE! But I WILL tell you I love you until your ears catch fire. Because until those ears catch fire from hearing how much your mama loves you, I haven’t said it enough times.

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Happy birthday you little snot rocket*. Mama loves you.


*Guess it’s time for more coffee… the name-calling has returned.