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Flourish Boutique OVERSTOCK sale!!!

24 Jul

Tonight I got to preview and shop the Flourish Boutique Overstock Sale and holy moly – I was expecting a rack in the corner full of some picked over sale items, and Y’ALL!! This was the whole first floor of the boutique and TONS of current season picks in all sizes, plus jewelry and accessories, and my favorite part: DENIM! So in my very rotund, pregnant state, I was expecting to mostly peruse and find only necklaces and scarves, but I actually was able to find a couple really adorable pieces of clothing for now AND post-baby. And I don’t typically shop for post-baby clothing while pregnant, but the deals were literally too good to pass up. Everything on the first floor of the store is marked down 60-90% off, and like I said, this isn’t the dregs of the store – this is great merchandise that is totally in style and in season! If it weren’t for my mega-bump, I would’ve done way more damage.

Here are a couple items I picked up:

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Lacy top in tan which looked killer with these Seven for all Mankind second skin skinny black pants (unbuttoned, because, OBVI!), but I intend to wear the heck out of this with some big ol’ stretchy black leggings as I continue to grow. Boots and a jean jacket would look super cute in the Fall too!

 

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Sheer black short sleeve zip-up top by YA with neon pink accents. Not normally my style, but I thought it would hide a multitude of sins post-baby and was super fun and out of my ordinary circuit.

 

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And my reckless purchase of the evening… these skinny Seven for all Mankind grey wash Second Skin jeans. Because I love them and a glutton for punishment. I mean, who buys skinny jeans when they’re 7 months pregnant?! WHO, I SAY!?!?!?

 

And this skirt I just thought was adorable and flirty and SOMEONE should definitely go buy it so that I can live vicariously through you.

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Also: if you love the chevron trend, it is alive and well at Flourish and this was one of my favorite chevron styles available.

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So there you have it – my brief synopsis of my fun little shopping excursion tonight. Go forth and shop til you drop… the sale goes from July 26-28 so don’t miss it!!!

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MOOTD + Zulily Invitation + Sale Announcement OH MY!

23 Jul

This post is going to be short, sweet and simple because there’s not much to tell about this outfit other than it was one of the only appropriate things I had to wear to dinner recently given the SWELTERING heat that has taken over Northern Indiana. Drip drip. The’s the sound of my under-boob sweat pouring off me. Cute, no?

So this dress was on sale during the winter through Zulily. What’s that? You’ve never heard of Zulily? (OK maybe you have, but this is for the people who haven’t so speed read through this section if you’re already a member). The brand is Scrapbook, and I’ve always liked Scrapbook clothing. It’s, well, kinda scrapbooky (der?). Different patterns and textures that you wouldn’t normally put together make this a fun, quirky line that I’ve always been fond of. Even though I knew the dress was out of season at the time I bought it, I also knew I’d be big and fat and pregnant when I COULD wear it, and it seemed like the empire waist would be very forgiving of that big ol’ bump come Summer. And I was right. I love when that happens. SO, for all of you who are new to the world of Zulily, which offers daily sales of items for children, home, maternity and women’s apparel & accessories, I have an invitation for you to join right here! Click that there link and you can sign up to receive major discounts on all kinds of cute stuff like this dress and you’ll live happily ever after.

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To accessorize my dress, I belted it with an Ann Taylor Loft belt (purchased a few seasons ago) because I thought it could use a little more definition. I threw on some Steve Madden wedges (also a few seasons old) and called it a day. It was simply too hot and sticky out to put any more thought and effort into the outfit than that, which is why dresses are gifts from God, because they basically do all the work for you.

In OTHER exciting fashion-related news, I will be pre-shopping the Flourish Boutique Overstock Sale tomorrow night and posting all about my findings so you can participate in the event from July 26-28. Stay tuned for details regarding all of the adorable things I find and their fabulously low prices. Wheeeee!!!

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MOOTD – A Family A Fair

1 Jul

Once a year, our church hosts a community service at the county fair grounds. It’s ALWAYS been a fun event with great music, tons of people and the smell of nasty farm animals. What could be better, I say!?! Yeehaw and amen and all that.

So Sunday morning was the big fair day (A Family A Fair as the church’s creative people dubbed it in all their creative geniusery) and I knew I should wear something that was verrrrrry flexible. Last year, the weather was a million degrees and people were dropping like flies, and this year there was rain and gloom in the forecast. Bearing in mind how schizophrenic Indiana Summer weather can be, I wore this non-maternity sundress and threw on a jean jacket in case it actually wasn’t a steaming inferno of elephant ear and manure combustibility.

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Dress: Free People Sunshine Benji Linen Dress (Unfortunately sold out – I purchased this last summer while still working off some baby weight from my last pregnancy, so it’s larger than my normal dress size which works great for me now. Also, it was $13 – holla).

Jean jacket: J Crew Nolita Jacket

Shoes: Report “Cobb” Silver Slingback Sandal

Earrings: Francesca’s Whimsy Dangle Earrings in Red & Navy (similar here)

Purse: Tory Burch Dipped Canvas Tote (similar here in yellow)

The outfit worked great and my only complaint is that I was slightly limited in bending over to keep Navy entertained by fetching toys from the underside of his stroller without flashing the entire bandstand (something I highly discourage, especially when the occasion for the gathering is, y’know, church). Otherwise, the jean jacket with lightweight dress was a perfect combination. Speaking of jean jackets, I obsessed over the purchase of this particular jean jacket. OB-SESSED!!!! As long as I can remember, a good jean jacket has been an important staple in my wardrobe. I’ve always wanted a fancy schmancy designer jean jacket like this one from Hudson but could never really fork up the dough for the big names. I purchased a Gap jean jacket earlier this Spring in hopes that I would like it enough to make it my new staple, and I hated it. Loathed it. Shoved it away in my basement for the next yard sale and moved on to this J. Crew style. The thing with jean jackets is they have to be perfectly tailored so that they don’t look dated. They can be PERFECT for over dresses or skirts, but if they are too boxy or unstructured, they just look like you saved the one you had in the 90’s and busted it back out because, “Hey, it’s a jacket made from jeans… Check!”

FALSE!

Make sure if you’re going to try to wear this style that has been around for the long haul that you’re wearing the most current FIT of said style so that you look current. The J. Crew jacket was by no means cheap, but people who know me know my love of J. Crew and I had some gift card money laying around that was begging to be used for this item. Hence, the story of how my jean jacket came to be. Aren’t you glad I have a whole birth story for my jean jacket purchase? The next step in jean jacket insanity would be bedazzling it, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

So much is wrong here...

So much is wrong here…

For hair (which I mentioned in my last post as an equally important part of your wardrobe as the other elements) I went with a low braid. Something that, as a former short haired gal, I was never really able to bust out of my hair-do arsenal. If you’re going to wear a braid, keep it loose and voluminous. You want that height around the top of your scalp so you don’t look bald from the front and you want it loose so you don’t look too equestrian. Not that there’s anything wrong with rocking the horseback rider hair…. I mean… if that’s your thing. I’m a newby to the single braid, so I don’t have much input on it yet, but I think today it was a success, and certainly held up throughout the 15 minute rain shower that christened the congregation during the sermon.

And on an unrelated yet amazing note (literally) I will conclude with a video of my beautiful and talented sister singing the closing song at the fair. She rocked it. I got all teary eyed and gospelly while taking this video from the front row like a total stage mom. Enjoy!!

J Crew Factor Sale – 50% off!

1 Jul

Did you know that you can shop the J Crew outlet online? Is that not the greatest news you’ve heard since you last heard great news!? I know.

Well, right now through July 7, everything (EVERYTHING) is 50% off of the already lower factory prices. And if you’re a mom, they have kids’ clothes on the factory website!! I LOVE shopping for Navy at J Crew, but never do it, because hello… it’s J Crew and he’s a toddler boy and that is an insane waste of money. But when the t-shirts are just $13, I can justify the splurge.

Here are a few things I am grabbing for post-pregnancy with the sale:

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For Navy:

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For Stockton:

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There is no coupon code necessary, just head over and shop!!! You’re welcome 🙂

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MOOTD – Wedding outfit

30 Jun

Since there’s absolutely no hiding this bump now that I’m 6+ months pregnant, I decided to start a new section on ye olde blog – a “Maternity Outfit of the Day” (or MOOTD as I will henceforth be calling it) section ((you’re going to fall into one of two camps about that – either bored out of your gourd or  remotely excited to get some photographic outfit ideas for dressing your bump, of which there should be way more on the internet because dressing a bump is HARD, Y’ALL!)). So without further adieu and introduction, here is my first official MOOTD:

I wore this outfit to a wedding last night in Indianapolis, and it was really the perfect dress for the occasion and for my stage in pregnancy. I bought it early in my pregnancy knowing it would be a home run for all the weddings and dressy events we had ahead of us, for a number of reasons. 1) The length is perfect for a growing bump, which always makes things ride up shorter and higher than intended, 2) it’s STRETCHYYYYYYYY (angels singing), and 3) it’s not maternity (which means it’s actually a little flattering and in-style, as opposed to typical maternity clothing which is frumpy and inevitably has a lame drawstring belt around the top of your belly). Another reason that made it particularly perfect for this event was that we had to ride 6 hours in the car round trip, and it was comfortable enough to wear the whole time without having to bother with a change of clothes. Winner! And even though I have worn it to a few events already this summer and am starting to get slightly sick of it, I was able to accessorize it a little differently this time which made it feel fresh and different.

MOOTD - wedding

 

Dress: Anthropologie’s Frenchstripe Column Dress

Shoes: Steve Madden Purple Pumps (Similar here) c/o my sister’s closet

Purse: Tory Burch Robinson Envelope Clutch

Jewelry: Target Multi Strand with Beads Necklace and Target Double Drop Purple Earrings (Note: I changed into the linked jewelry AFTER taking the photos… I realized moments before jumping in the car that I had the purple jewelry to perfectly match the purple pumps so they didn’t quite make it into the final photo).

Here’s a photo of Stockton and I at the wedding WITH the correct jewelry on and enjoying a gawgeous evening out on the canal by the Indiana State Museum (awesome venue, by the way).

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We have already attended 2 out of 3 weddings this summer that are on the schedule and I wore this dress to both so far. Since it was a different crowd at both weddings, it wasn’t an issue to repeat the dress. As you enter into your pregnancy, I HIGHLY recommend looking at your calendar for the next 9 months and really analyzing your need for clothing;  seasons you’ll be dressing for, occasions you’ll be dressing for… Even though the dress was slightly pricey at the time, I knew I’d get my money’s worth out of it, not only WHILE pregnant, but AFTER pregnancy too. That is, unless I wear it so much while I’m pregnant that I just have a total mental block against wearing it post-pregnancy (WHICH REALLY HAPPENS BY THE WAY!). Hopefully I can get over the mental block, though, because by buying clothing that really grows with you, you’re stretching your dollar so much more.

Here’s some other tricky advice you can take to the bank with you while pregnant: you can really make the most out of your pregnant look by playing up the parts you can control the most, which are your hair and accessories. Stockton bought me the gorgeous evening bag for Mother’s Day and I use it at every opportunity. It adds a level of non-maternity style and distinction to my outfits and plays up my love of beautiful, fashionable items even when I can’t necessarily wear all of the beautiful and fashionable CLOTHES that I want to wear. The shoes were also a fun pop to draw the eye away from the bump. If you are comfortable and able, I think all pregnant women should rock the high heel as long as possible. It improves your posture, makes your legs look great and you will carry yourself differently than if you clomp around in flip flops the whole time. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for flip flops, but remember to play up the parts you can still control: shoes, purses and jewelry!!!!! And like I mentioned before, don’t neglect your hair. Some women have their most beautiful locks while pregnant, and even though you’re tired and feeling ugly and not really in the mood to fuss with ANY part of your look (trust me, that was me during my first pregnancy) you will ALWAYS look 100% more polished and finished if you have done your hair in a deliberate style. Even if that’s a ponytail! Be deliberate about your hair and it will work like an accessory to complete your look. I used this updo tutorial by Kate from The Small Things Blog and again, it was a perfect hair style for our circumstances. I didn’t have to worry about it falling flat during the 3 hour car ride, humidity didn’t make anything get frizzy or unkempt, and it didn’t add more unnecessary volume to my body/face the way a curly or voluminous hair style could do.

So there you have it! MOOTD #1 for your enjoyment. Feel free to pin it, share it, use it and copy it if you are so inclined. Like I said, dressing a bump can be really hard if staying stylish and creative are your goals, so I hope this new series can help to encourage women who are in my shoes to try new styles and get outfit inspiration to dress your bump!

This is just out of control

14 Sep

I love color. On just about everything. I’m not afraid of it. Take a glimpse at my home, for example:

Wasabi Green Kitchen

 

 

Orange Bathroom:

 

Navy’s colorful nursery (yyyeeppppp, I know there are missing letters. The grabby baby hands are grabby, and a collection of painted letters is gradually accumulating behind his crib and hi, I’m too lazy to fix it):

 

I know that not everyone shares my appreciation for color (as evidenced by the fact that one time I painted my bedroom and one person’s response to the color choice was “I hope you kept your receipt” – that is a true story). However, I continue to be attracted to colorful things and I especially love to WEAR colorful things. Which makes the current trend of colorful pants EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!!! Because, well, erm, you see, I have um… 7 pairs. I think I may be addicted to colored pants.

 

In my very limited defense, most of these pants were under $20, so What Is We’re Fine? I know it’s not ok to have this many colored pants when most days you don’t even WEAR pants, but I am just having too much fun with this trend and I have to take advantage of it while it lasts. Plus, did I mention they were all SUPER cheap??

Which brings me to my next point, and a styling tip (which I would like to note that I am completely and entirely unqualified to be giving out, so please take this with a dash, not a grain, of salt). I FIRMLY believe in the high/low styling rule: pair high price investment pieces with low price trend items. You will create a style that is then a bit trendy but mostly timeless. I totally believe in investing in quality clothing when appropriate. Some items worth doing your homework on and investing in: leather boots, black blazer, great denim, jackets/outerwear, shoes of various function (a pair of neutral flats, a great pair of black pumps, a great pair of nude pumps), etc.  The list varies according to your regular wardrobe needs (Are you dressing for work? What kind of work environment? Do you need to be crawling around on the ground with kids? Is it warm or cold?). This post is starting to sound very advice-y. Where are all the exclamation points and capitalized words?! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I believe that the colored pants trend is adorable, but probably won’t last forever, so I just couldn’t justify investing in expensive pairs. Now, I’m a denim snob. I am extremely picky because my body is wonky in that my trunk is not proportional to my butt and thighs, so I am very picky about how my jeans fit. I look best in skinny jeans, which DEFINITELY need to fit right to look right. All of my colored pants are skinny, but I knew for the outfits I’d be putting together with them, they didn’t have to be The Perfect Fitting Jeans… just good enough to pull off a fun look. So I plan on pairing these colorful threads with more high-quality shirts, blouses and jackets to make the outfits look higher end overall.

I already shared a yellow jeans outfit here but I’ll be adding more as I wear outfits that incorporate them.  I know you’re probably on the edge of your seat. Don’t tell me if you aren’t.

Are you guys into the colored jeans look? How would you wear them? What colors do you have?? Do tell!

Furniture changer upper

10 Sep

In June, our neighborhood had the big hoopdy-do garage sale where everyone pitches their old junk and tries to get $5 for it. Let’s be real, no one actually makes money doing a garage sale. I bet if you kept track of all the time you spent marking items with dumb little price tags, plus the cost of said price tags, plus the hours you sat in your garage watching people talk crap about your collection of Precious Moments figurines, you’d come away with like, $.32 an hour for a whole weekend’s worth of work. My suggestion? DONATE IT! Tax write off, holla atcha. Anyway, not a big garage saler myself (in case the previous sentence didn’t give that away already), my sister and I went strolling with the babes just trying to see if we found someone trying to sell something awesome, like a broken briefcase that secretly contains a million dollars but was sold to us for $2 (after we negotiated them down from $3 because duh, that’s how garage sales work). Turns out we didn’t find a million dollar briefcase (wop wop) but I did come away with a pretty decent coffee table (among a couple other junky things that I told Stockton “I PROMISE I’LL UPCYCLE THAT AND MAKE IT COOL BABE I LOVE YOU” except, yeah, it’s still all sitting either in the garage or the basement serving no purpose other than to create fights and raise Stockton’s blood pressure, WOOPS!). The coffee table was solid maple (no before pictures, though, because that would make me actually a purposeful blogger who PLANS things and PREPARES for WELL THOUGHT OUT posts, and don’t you KNOW me?!). It had clearly been loved by the family as evidenced by all of the colorful illustrations that were all over it (Alexis wuz here and she hearts Bobby written in hot pink highlighter, etc.). Starting price: $35. My takeaway price: $23. How I got it that low?

Yeah, something along those lines.

Anyway, after sitting in my garage for 3 months, I finally decided to tackle it today. I’m sure if you’ve spent all of 30 seconds on Pinterest, you’ve seen this pin (or one like it) which is allegedly a tutorial for how to do this in an intelligent and careful manner. Ha. I only needz the picturez cuz I’m a 1/2 az.

My “before” coffee table actually looked a lot like the before in this picture but it was a rectangle and had a drawer in the side that I had to incorporate into the finished piece.

And so, a shoddy play by play of how a haphazard DIYer threw some fabric and batting on a table and turned it into a Coffee Tottoman (you’re welcome for the new vocabulary).

1) Sand your table a little (I don’t know, they say it’s important, something about the paint sticking, yada yada. I do this by going, “STOCKTON!!! I need your heeeeelp.” Gotta get you a hubsband for the grunty stuff).

2) Wait 3 months and fight with your husband about that FRIGGING TABLE THAT IS STILL IN THE GARAGE FRIGGIN A!

3) Spray paint the table legs and sides (skip the top since you’re covering it anyway, doy). I think I put two-ish coats on here. Seemed good enough. It’s going in the basement for crying out loud. It’s sole purpose is probably going to serve as a big, toxic teether for Navy anyway.

4) Let dry. Drink some wine during this period. Also: eat chipotle.

5) Here’s where we get technical. Once it was in the basement, I had to cover the whole thing in enough batting to make it squishy enough that it felt like an ottoman and not just a table covered in fabric. When you’re a seamstress with a shopping problem, it happens to be quite convenient that you have 18 yards of foam batting on hand (who woulda thunk) so cut a few pieces to size (in my case, it was 3 base pieces). Then for the top piece, I did a 4″ overlap on each side to pillow the sides.

6) Staple all of the batting to the underside of the table. Get bored. Drink more wine. Start getting distracted and work faster and sloppier because of said boredom. Note that you should never offer your services as an upholsterer.

7) Then we go in with the fabric. I bought 2 yards of cotton fabric (it was on sale for $5 something/yard) to cover it. I opted to not go with home dec fabric because a) the selection of home dec fabrics at my local fabric store were blegh and b) home dec fabric is more expensive and hello this was a $23 table for crying out loud. I didn’t want to spend more on the fabric than the whole table. My goal when searching for fabric was to find a nice pattern that contained the colors grey, tan, yellow, black, and/or eggplant (since those are primarily the other colors in my basement). Found this fabric and basically just said “Grey, tan, yellow, black, SOLD!” It was good enough, and it’s kinda pretty. Probably not usually my style, but I like it.

8) Staple again. SO BORING WITH THE STAPLING. Who would suspect that stapling fabric to the bottom of a table could be so tantamount to poking your eyes out with toothpicks!? I mean… I think I have terrible, undiagnosed ADD which doesn’t help when doing such monotonous work as this, too, sooooo I maaayyyy have gotten a little sloppy near the end. I was just so hot and bored and thirsty and IS IT OVER YET?! OK, I don’t like stapling. Topic can now be put to rest.

9) Step back and say, “Self? You are not bad. That’ll do, Donkey.”

Total budget breakdown (because this is what real DIY bloggers do at the end of their posts):

Table: $23

Paint: I don’t know ’cause I already owned it

Batting: had it (see: hoarder)

Fabric: $10

Wine: Roughly $3/glass – drink at your own risk when staples are involved

Working clothes that are something other than sweatpants for a change

4 Aug

My first business trip for Courtney Bock Designs was about two weeks ago.  I was exhibiting the line at the Chicago Living and Giving / Beckman’s Trade Show, where hundreds of other exhibitors in the gift, baby and handmade industry were showcasing their wares. Right along with little ol’ me.  It was totally nerve-wracking and exciting to be an exhibitor, and I came away from the whole experience feeling totally invigorated and go-get-em about CBD.  I think obnoxiously so.  But it was the best I’ve felt about the future of the company in, um, ever. I was PUMPED! And also HIGHLY CAFFEINATED!!! And so I spend the long exhibition hours making a 1 year plan and a 5 year plan and new product sketches and new logos and overall kicking some major boo-tay in the administrative arena. And in addition to covering some major ground on the goal-setting front, I got some great new orders and am super excited to have picked up several new boutiques who will be carrying Courtney Bock Designs (!!!). It’s really exciting to know that in other parts of the country, people can be shopping in their favorite stores and find MY stuff. That people I don’t know or have never met or seen will be wrapping their babies in MY blankets, and dressing their kids in MY bodysuits and baking cookies in MY aprons. Like, that’s awesome. Point blank. It makes me giddy.

While I was there, I made a point to chronicle each of my outfits on instagram (username courtneybschultz in case you feel so inclined to follow me) which was only slightly awkward and narcissistic, I KNOW, but it was all so I could report back here that yes, in fact, people will buy products from someone wearing yellow pants. Now you know. I’ve been inspired by my new favorite fashion blog which I’ve mentioned before (J’s Everyday Fashion) so in the style of J herself, here is a little breakdown of my werking gerl outfits in all of their glory.

Day 1

 

Blouse: Ann Taylor Loft (here)

Belt: Michael Kors from TJ Maxx (Similar here but mine is camel leather instead of logo)

Pants: Forever 21 (here)

Shoes: Lucky Brand (here)

 

Day 2:

Blouse: Francesca’s Collection (here)

Belt: Same

Pants: Seven for All Mankind “Dojo” in black (bought on Gilt, but also here)

Shoes: Same

Watch: Anniversary gift from le babe daddy

 

Day 3:

 

Blouse: Francesca’s Collection (belongs to my sister, SHARING IS AWSOME – here)

Skirt: TJ Maxx, can’t help ya there.

Shoes: Same

Belt: Same

 

Evening 3:

Jeans: Joe’s (here)

Shoes: Tory Burch Flip Flops (sold out and have since been eaten by my dog. effin a)

Purse: Michael Kors from Marshall’s circa 2010ish

 

Day 4:

 

Shirt: TJ Maxx (similar-ish here)

Sweater: Target (turquoise not available online, but more colors here)

Jeans: Same

Belt: Same

Shoes: Birthday gift, Tory Burch Reva Flats in Royal Tan (here)

 

So there you go. Now we can at least say I’ve gotten dressed in real clothes a minimum of 4 times in the last 8 months and I have photographic documentation to prove it, dangit!!!

 

 

Boxy

1 Aug

I recently stumbled upon a new kids shopping site called Wittlebee that is one of many companies jumping on the monthly shipment wagon. I’m about to tell you all about it but don’t worry, I’m not fancy or anything so no companies give an at’s rass about this blog enough to have me write about their products for money (in other words, this isn’t sponsored, just my own two cents and no, there isn’t a coupon code at the end of this post- tough luck).

So I did happen to find a link online (which now I have no idea where to find SOWWY!!) for a discounted first month’s shipment. I believe it was $23 to sign up and get my first shipment. You register for an account and then select your style profile for your kid(s). It asks you a series of questions including what size you need, what climate you live in, what your favorite colors are, and if you need any special items (like swimwear or pajamas).
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If you sign up for the program, you receive a box of clothing every month for $39.99 (box contains retail value of at least $100 worth of clothing). I think that’s a pretty good deal, myself, and the brands are VERY high quality. No Walmart up in here. Not that there’s anything wrong with Walmart, we all know how grimy kids can be so it makes sense to dress them economically, which makes this so great. I’m VERY particular about how I dress Navy, so I love that a program exists where he can get cute clothes of great quality for 60% off retail and it’s delivered to my door. And they have 100% satisfaction guarantee so if you aren’t happy with any of your items, send them back! They’ll get you something that you like better.

Here is Navy’s box. I didn’t LOVE everything, but I liked it all. It is all stuff I would dress him in and for a fraction of what I would have paid retail. Plus, it’s fun to open the box and be surprised.
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Click here to sign up and get started on your own Wittlebee account. It’s kinda fun, I think you’ll like it. End company endorsement.

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In My {imaginary} Shopping Cart

16 May

Let’s just get hypothetical here. IF cost were no object and I didn’t have a baby and I were cool and edgy and basically the opposite of what I actually am, I would own roughly 90% of the items sold at Anthropologie (I say only 90, because about 10% of the stuff they sell is weird as hell* and just, no).  And today, because of that, I am feeling particularly woeful, pitiful, and pathetic because alas, tis {one of} the most wonderful time{s} of the year. The semi-annual Anthropologie Clearance Sale.

So just for the dang meanness of it, and because I have a dump truck’s worth of work to be doing but procrastinating in the form of blogging about imaginary closet contents is SO MUCH MORE OBVIOUS A CHOICE OF HOW I SHOULD SPEND MY TIME, DUH, I shall show you what I would buy if it were a perfect world:

Polka Dot Stiletto Crops in Yellow

{We all know pants this identifiable are just impractical – people would actually notice then that I’m wearing the same pants for the third day in a row, and we mustn’t wear air out our dirty laundry in public like that, shall we?}

Casting Wider Top

{This top made its way into my real life shopping cart except that I have a very grabby 5 month old and those pretty, perfectly spaced knit holes would look like a tattered fish net after about 5 minutes. Wah.}

Catalyst Dress

Verbatim Tank in Navy

La Primavera Pullover

{Again, let me paint you a word picture. 5 month old : intricate sweaters as water :  oil. Also, only available in a Large, but if that’s your size, BUY THIS, it’s only $29!!!}

Scuffed Stripes Pullover

{This is completely practical and half off… I don’t have an answer for why this isn’t on my body right now except good old fashioned guilt, which can go ahead and fly a kite as far as I’m concerned.}

Viveza Food Cover

{Ok, this I actually did buy, because it’s $12, it’s outdoor dining season, and it goes awesome with my kitchen curtains**, also from Anthropologie.}

Rosette Quilt, Purple

{This is actually a great opportunity for those of you who have asked about the quilt I made my little sister for her college dorm room*** – the real deal is on sale, so run, don’t walk to your nearest… uh… website.}

OK that is all the fictitious shopping cart we have for today because I could go on and on but I’m getting bored and sick of linking to the website because it’s making me depressed and crabby. Happy shopping, loves, and please go buy things so I can live vicariously through YOU! Cheers, dolls!

*Case in point:

**A glimpse of my curtains. Great match, for the food cover, no??? EXCELLENT PURCHASE METHINKS!

***My knockoff rendition, taken on a shoddy camera phone, because nothing showcases quality handmade craftsmanship like a flip phone.